The Fear Factor

When it comes to following your dreams, fears are a natural part of the process. There are so many what-ifs and so many buts, that if you pay attention to all, you will hardly make any progress. I know I have done this for years - chosen the safer option of staying put in the corporate sector despite not enjoying it. So, it was a big step for me when I quit my job and moved to another country (with enormous support from my husband, of course - it is much easier to follow your heart when you know that someone is there to take care of the rent and bills.)

Four months have passed since I took the plunge, and I have made a lot of progress in terms of learning about what I want to do next. However, as the options have become clearer in my head, the what-ifs and buts have started to creep in. What if I am no good at doing what I am passionate about? What if I am unable to earn a living by doing things I love? What if all this turns out to be a foolish mistake? What if all I am doing is wasting my time? What if...what if...what if.

I was discussing this with my husband a couple of days back, and he asked me to write everything down - the thoughts I have, the fears that weigh me down, the reasons I continue to do what I am doing, and so on. This seemed like a good way to complete that day’s quota of 1000 words, and so I decided to follow his advice.

As I wrote my thoughts down, I realized that what I needed was a plan B. To answer the what-ifs I was facing, I just had to have an answer ready. What if I failed at following my dreams? Well - I could always go back to taking up a job, right? Right. One thing led to another, and soon enough, I found myself looking at potential job opportunities I could fall back on, if things did not work out as per plan. There was just one small problem - most jobs where I was likely to get hired were in the corporate sector - for work similar to what I had been bored of and left just four months ago.

And there I sat, shaking my head in utter despair. If things didn’t work out, I would have to go back to square one. Suddenly, a determined voice within me yelled - NO WAY! There was no way on earth I was going to go back to work in a role for which the mere act of reading my job description could put me to sleep. There had to be another way. There HAS TO BE another way.  

And so, I have found an interesting way to deal with the fears I face - to use them as fuel to fire up my dreams. I will do ALL it takes, work as hard as I can - lest I end up at a dreaded job. Looking back is not an option. The only way to go is onward.