तुम तो साथ नहीं हो फिर भी,
ये कैसा एहसास...
जाने मुझको क्यूँ लगता है,
तुम हो, मेरे पास
सब कुछ तो बिलकुल वैसा है
जैसा कि तुम छोड़ गए थे
कितनी बातें, कितने वादे,
कितने रिश्ते जोड़ गए थे
वो सारे पल हैं अब मेरे
जीवन कि हर आस
तुम तो...
मुझे अकेला छोड़ गए तुम
रंग बिरंगे सपनों के संग
पर क्यूँ भूल गए कि अब,
तुमसे हैं मेरे जीवन के रंग
राह तुम्हारी तकती हूँ मैं
पल, घंटे, दिन, मास
तुम तो...
शाम सवेरे अब तो मैं,
बस यादों में खोई रहती हूँ
नींदें रस्ता भूल गयी हैं
जागी सी सोई रहती हूँ
तुमसे मिलने की आशा में
आती जाती सांस
तुम तो...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
They Love You More Than Me!
I recently came across these two sisters who were present at a friend’s place when I visited her. During the little interaction I had with them – one thing was clear. If given an opportunity, at least one of them would surely go to jail for the murder of the other sister in cold blood. Given the neck to neck competition they gave each other in throwing pleasantries at each other, both getting murdered was also not a far-fetched possibility. And I am not talking about 5 year old kids here. These are ladies in their mid-twenties, working in different organizations at responsible positions. Here is a glimpse of a small part of what I witnessed that day.
Scene 1:
(My friend, both the sisters, and I are sitting in the drawing room. Sister A is slicing apples for making custard. My friend is dusting the place. There is a party at her place tonight. Sister B and I are watching them at work.)
Sister A: So, how did you like my new dress? (asks my friend)
Friend: Oh, very pretty! From where did you buy it?
Sister B: Buy it? She STOLE it! I had selected it for myself and was trying something else when she pounced on this dress and got it packed. Bloody thief!
Friend: (too embarrassed to say another word)
Sister A: Don’t you ‘bloody thief’ me you #$#%*#@! You don’t even have basic fashion sense to be able to admire something as good as this.
Friend and I steal embarrassed glances at each other. I am thinking of a way to get the hell out of this room as I just don’t know how to react to this situation.
Sister B: How dare you point fingers at my fashion sense?’ (focuses on my friend) ‘You tell me…do I not have fashion sense? Are my dresses not usually prettier than hers?
Friend: Er…well, both of you have good…
Sister B: Don’t give me your diplomatic answer! Tell me is my fashion sense better than hers or not?
I really pity my friend at this moment, but can’t really help her as I hardly know these sisters, have met them for the first time, and with Sister A with a knife in her hand, and Sister B with that killer look in her eyes, interrupting in anybody’s favour does not seem like the safest option.
But Sister A comes to my friend’s rescue.
Sister A: Why are you sticking your finger in her throat to get the answer out in your favour? Why can’t you just look at yourself in the mirror and not be blind about it?
Sister B: I think we should get your eyes tested. And may be your brain as well. I will talk to mom about this, seriously.
Sister A: (mimicks) I will talk to mom about it! Why not? Do that! Has she ever favoured me that she will today? She is your last resort for everything! Go complain about me and weep like a 3 year old with your head on her lap.
(Exit Sister A.)
My friend and I are speechless while there is an uncomfortable pause.
Sister B: Yeah, blame it all on favouritism. Mom favours me only when I am right. I am sorry if I am right too often!
(Exit Sister B.)
Scene 2:
(I am looking at my friend, who looks as shocked as I feel I do.)
Me: Whoa, whoa whoa! What the hell was that? These are your friends?
Friend: Sort of. I mean, they are my neighbours. And they are okay when you talk to them individually. I just don’t get why they hate each other so much!
Me: You mean they are normal people when they are not around each other?
Friend: Oh yes, they are perfectly normal, sweet, and caring.
Me: Wow! And I thought there is nothing like bonding with a sister almost your own age!
Friend: Yes, that’s true. It’s just that these two don’t seem to get along. Sibling rivalry I guess.
And the term just stuck in my head. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Have I myself not experienced this as a kid and a teenager? Of course!
Scene 3: (flashback to 17 years ago)
(Me (10 year old) and my brother (7.5) are playing cricket with some of our friends and younger cousins, and have a fight over dividing the team. Both of us want Player A in our team, as he is strong and can run fast. It started off as a small thing but has now become a prestige issue for us, as we are the captains for our teams and have decided to get Player A in.)
Me: We have more girls in my team, so we need him in our team for this to be a fair game!
Bro: But we are all younger guys in this team, and we need him too!
Me: Okay, let’s do a toss!
Bro: No, that’s not fair! You can’t take him, our team needs him more!
(Enter Mom.)
Bro: Mummy! See, didi is not letting me keep Player A in my team – we are all so small kids in my team!
Me: Mummy…we are an almost all girls team…Player A should be in our team!
Mom: ‘Hmmm. Arey beta, he is your younger brother. Let him keep Player A, what is the big deal?’
Bro: ‘Yay!!! We got Player A.’ (his team celebrates)
My team members are standing – heads hanging low – as if they have lost Sachin Tendulkar to the competitors.
Me: This is not fair! I am not going to play this game anymore!
And I storm out of the field, tears rolling down my eyes. I don’t understand why my mom always has to favour him – always! There can be only one reason – she loves him more than me! I lock myself in a room and cry for some time. I hate my brother.
Scene 4: (flashback of 10 years ago)
(My brother (now 14.5) has a math exam tomorrow morning. And he is not prepared as usual. And I (17) am the designated teacher to help him pass. My patience normally runs very low on these days.)
Me: So, this is how you solve such problems. Clear?
Bro: Yes.
Me: Now solve question 18 – all three parts – and show me. (I open the book I am reading while he frowns at the math book.)
5 minutes later.
Me: Done?
Bro: (silence)
Me: DONE???
Bro: How do I…which formula do I use for part 2?
Me: (exasperated sigh) Didn’t I just explain it to you?
Bro: That was a different kind of problem.
Me: Understand the concept! You will not get the same type of problem in question paper. This is what happens when you don’t study for a whole year and try to mug it up just before the exam!
Bro: Listen, I don’t need your lecture. Explain it to me if you can else I will manage.
Me: Don’t you dare throw attitude at me after messing up so much with your studies.
And it goes on. Obviously the volume control from our voices has gone off completely, and my mom comes in to solve another one of our disputes. She takes stock of the situation, and pronounces the verdict.
Mom: Well, she is right. You need to focus on the studies all through the year – this can’t happen in one night. But now that we have such short time, please don’t waste it further and concentrate. Beta, teach him once more, he will understand.
Vindicated, I begin explaining the concept to him once again, with a sense of satisfaction. Tip, tip – two drops of tear fall on his notebook.
Me: What? What are you crying for?
Bro: Nothing.
Me: What nothing? What happened?
Bro: No one loves me. Everyone loves you more because you get better marks.
Me: Huh? Who told you that?
Bro: No one needs to tell me that. I can see that. Mom just came and scolded me. She also does not love me. Papa also. They love you more than me! I hate you at times because of this.
Me: Oh, really? And what about the times when they favour you even if it’s your fault? What about the cases when I get all the scolding saying you are younger than me?
And the debate goes on.
Scene 6: Today
(I have just finished a 4 hours online chat with my brother. Both of us were sharing some important developments of our lives with each other and time just flew.)
It is unbelievable how we bond today, considering the kind of love we shared in our childhood. We still have our fights, but none of us doubts how much our parents love both of us. I guess both of us have realized this over time that parents supported one or the other not because they loved someone more, but because they were trying to inculcate this bonding between us. They wanted me to understand that I as the elder sister was supposed to be more responsible and take care of my younger brother, give in to his small demands to make him feel loved. On the other hand, they also wanted him to learn from me in various ways.
I guess most people experience sibling rivalry at some point in time in their lives. I am just glad that my brother and I ended up like this rather than like the two siblings I mentioned in the beginning. Can’t imagine how life would have been if we had turned out to be like that! What say, bro?
Scene 1:
(My friend, both the sisters, and I are sitting in the drawing room. Sister A is slicing apples for making custard. My friend is dusting the place. There is a party at her place tonight. Sister B and I are watching them at work.)
Sister A: So, how did you like my new dress? (asks my friend)
Friend: Oh, very pretty! From where did you buy it?
Sister B: Buy it? She STOLE it! I had selected it for myself and was trying something else when she pounced on this dress and got it packed. Bloody thief!
Friend: (too embarrassed to say another word)
Sister A: Don’t you ‘bloody thief’ me you #$#%*#@! You don’t even have basic fashion sense to be able to admire something as good as this.
Friend and I steal embarrassed glances at each other. I am thinking of a way to get the hell out of this room as I just don’t know how to react to this situation.
Sister B: How dare you point fingers at my fashion sense?’ (focuses on my friend) ‘You tell me…do I not have fashion sense? Are my dresses not usually prettier than hers?
Friend: Er…well, both of you have good…
Sister B: Don’t give me your diplomatic answer! Tell me is my fashion sense better than hers or not?
I really pity my friend at this moment, but can’t really help her as I hardly know these sisters, have met them for the first time, and with Sister A with a knife in her hand, and Sister B with that killer look in her eyes, interrupting in anybody’s favour does not seem like the safest option.
But Sister A comes to my friend’s rescue.
Sister A: Why are you sticking your finger in her throat to get the answer out in your favour? Why can’t you just look at yourself in the mirror and not be blind about it?
Sister B: I think we should get your eyes tested. And may be your brain as well. I will talk to mom about this, seriously.
Sister A: (mimicks) I will talk to mom about it! Why not? Do that! Has she ever favoured me that she will today? She is your last resort for everything! Go complain about me and weep like a 3 year old with your head on her lap.
(Exit Sister A.)
My friend and I are speechless while there is an uncomfortable pause.
Sister B: Yeah, blame it all on favouritism. Mom favours me only when I am right. I am sorry if I am right too often!
(Exit Sister B.)
Scene 2:
(I am looking at my friend, who looks as shocked as I feel I do.)
Me: Whoa, whoa whoa! What the hell was that? These are your friends?
Friend: Sort of. I mean, they are my neighbours. And they are okay when you talk to them individually. I just don’t get why they hate each other so much!
Me: You mean they are normal people when they are not around each other?
Friend: Oh yes, they are perfectly normal, sweet, and caring.
Me: Wow! And I thought there is nothing like bonding with a sister almost your own age!
Friend: Yes, that’s true. It’s just that these two don’t seem to get along. Sibling rivalry I guess.
And the term just stuck in my head. Sibling rivalry. Sibling rivalry. Have I myself not experienced this as a kid and a teenager? Of course!
Scene 3: (flashback to 17 years ago)
(Me (10 year old) and my brother (7.5) are playing cricket with some of our friends and younger cousins, and have a fight over dividing the team. Both of us want Player A in our team, as he is strong and can run fast. It started off as a small thing but has now become a prestige issue for us, as we are the captains for our teams and have decided to get Player A in.)
Me: We have more girls in my team, so we need him in our team for this to be a fair game!
Bro: But we are all younger guys in this team, and we need him too!
Me: Okay, let’s do a toss!
Bro: No, that’s not fair! You can’t take him, our team needs him more!
(Enter Mom.)
Bro: Mummy! See, didi is not letting me keep Player A in my team – we are all so small kids in my team!
Me: Mummy…we are an almost all girls team…Player A should be in our team!
Mom: ‘Hmmm. Arey beta, he is your younger brother. Let him keep Player A, what is the big deal?’
Bro: ‘Yay!!! We got Player A.’ (his team celebrates)
My team members are standing – heads hanging low – as if they have lost Sachin Tendulkar to the competitors.
Me: This is not fair! I am not going to play this game anymore!
And I storm out of the field, tears rolling down my eyes. I don’t understand why my mom always has to favour him – always! There can be only one reason – she loves him more than me! I lock myself in a room and cry for some time. I hate my brother.
Scene 4: (flashback of 10 years ago)
(My brother (now 14.5) has a math exam tomorrow morning. And he is not prepared as usual. And I (17) am the designated teacher to help him pass. My patience normally runs very low on these days.)
Me: So, this is how you solve such problems. Clear?
Bro: Yes.
Me: Now solve question 18 – all three parts – and show me. (I open the book I am reading while he frowns at the math book.)
5 minutes later.
Me: Done?
Bro: (silence)
Me: DONE???
Bro: How do I…which formula do I use for part 2?
Me: (exasperated sigh) Didn’t I just explain it to you?
Bro: That was a different kind of problem.
Me: Understand the concept! You will not get the same type of problem in question paper. This is what happens when you don’t study for a whole year and try to mug it up just before the exam!
Bro: Listen, I don’t need your lecture. Explain it to me if you can else I will manage.
Me: Don’t you dare throw attitude at me after messing up so much with your studies.
And it goes on. Obviously the volume control from our voices has gone off completely, and my mom comes in to solve another one of our disputes. She takes stock of the situation, and pronounces the verdict.
Mom: Well, she is right. You need to focus on the studies all through the year – this can’t happen in one night. But now that we have such short time, please don’t waste it further and concentrate. Beta, teach him once more, he will understand.
Vindicated, I begin explaining the concept to him once again, with a sense of satisfaction. Tip, tip – two drops of tear fall on his notebook.
Me: What? What are you crying for?
Bro: Nothing.
Me: What nothing? What happened?
Bro: No one loves me. Everyone loves you more because you get better marks.
Me: Huh? Who told you that?
Bro: No one needs to tell me that. I can see that. Mom just came and scolded me. She also does not love me. Papa also. They love you more than me! I hate you at times because of this.
Me: Oh, really? And what about the times when they favour you even if it’s your fault? What about the cases when I get all the scolding saying you are younger than me?
And the debate goes on.
Scene 6: Today
(I have just finished a 4 hours online chat with my brother. Both of us were sharing some important developments of our lives with each other and time just flew.)
It is unbelievable how we bond today, considering the kind of love we shared in our childhood. We still have our fights, but none of us doubts how much our parents love both of us. I guess both of us have realized this over time that parents supported one or the other not because they loved someone more, but because they were trying to inculcate this bonding between us. They wanted me to understand that I as the elder sister was supposed to be more responsible and take care of my younger brother, give in to his small demands to make him feel loved. On the other hand, they also wanted him to learn from me in various ways.
I guess most people experience sibling rivalry at some point in time in their lives. I am just glad that my brother and I ended up like this rather than like the two siblings I mentioned in the beginning. Can’t imagine how life would have been if we had turned out to be like that! What say, bro?
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